Or "I got assaulted and it was my mom's fault!"
Yesterday my mom asked if I wanted to go to Toys-R-Us with her. I love toy stores. I love looking at all the new things that kids get to play with…and hey, I may be an adult but nothing is better than the Barbie aisle. So we took the journey on over to the store, my mom pulled in to a parking spot and this woman comes whipping around the corner, obviously wanting the spot my mom just pulled in to. She gives a dirty look to my mom, speeds around and pulls in behind us. Whatever.
We are standing in the store looking at the Kung Fu Zhu Zhu pets when this woman comes in the store and she hits me with her cart. There was NO way it was on accident. She hit me with her cart and gave a look and walked by. So I said loudly “Excuse you, that was rude.” She just picks up a toy and looks at it. So I loudly tell my mom that this woman just hit me with her cart and she says how rude it was. No response. Okay, whatever, hope you feel better that you hit someone with a cart because you had to walk a couple extra feet to get into the store.
I’m wandering down the aisle with the Littlest Pet Shop, Strawberry Shortcake (Hate the new version), and Olivia the pig toys and here comes that woman. She bumps me as she pushes by me. At this point she is lucky that I didn’t clobber her with my purse or shove her cart into her. Instead I did the classy thing…oh yes, I did. I called her a B***h. Loudly. She looked at me, then whipped her head around to look at something on a shelf.
I get you wanted to park in the parking spot that we took…we were in the parking spot before you even turned the corner to park there. But come on, you parked directly behind us. It isn’t like it was the only spot in the parking lot. There were plenty of spots, all closer than where we parked. I understood you are also AZ Cardinals fans and that explains your sour personality, it ain’t my fault your team sucks. But she is lucky I didn’t get thrown out of the toy store for making her eat plastic food.